A three hour (week) tour

The verdict is in, and I'm going to be going back to a heavy Chemo regiment. Started last night around midnight, its a combo of 2 different drugs that only medical professionals can pronounce. So with the new treatment jacking up my blood counts they want to keep me for 3 weeks. I am now referring to myself as the "Skipper" and the 7900 wing is my S.S. Minnow. If the Minnow was filled with geriatrics that eat pudding at 4:30 and then go to bed. Someone has to tell these geezers, the cafeteria does NOT have an early bird special!

But I digress, met with my doctor this morning and she explained the treatment and why I have to be here so long. She did say that I might get moved to the 5th floor when a room opens up. Which would be nice, as they have flat screens in each room and right now my TV is a 13" zenith, circa 1985.

Now to the real news if the past 12 hours. Last night I attempted to institute a new plan, entitled:
The (attempted) Seduction of the Night Nurses.

Two awesome nurses I've had at night were both on duty last night. One blonde, one brunette, I had to carefully decide how I was going to approach the logistics of this dream/nightmare. As I found out one of them is actually married my battle plan was formulated. The married nurse was the obe who was scheduled for my room. So I took advantage of that by using my immense charm and humor to entertain, knowing full well that women love to gossip. (a generalization I know, but face it ladies you love to gossip. It's been proven in a scientific journal I never read)

So on a not busy evening my nurse spent a lot of time in here talking and telling plenty of jokes. Built in advantage was of course that I am the youngest patient on the floor by 20 years. So I of course am the only one awake after Matlock gets over at 9. So with a little embellishment and dramatic flair I talked up my life and accomplishments. Maybe I didn't save as many orphans from a fire as I claimed, but who among us doesn't stretch the truth when dealing with the outside sex? Especially when it was a difficult mission of impressing one girl, in order to impress another. Things went well I believe as my nurse did come in later and tell me the other young lady was indeed available. She however did not come in to chat, because of course there are laws/oaths that discourage said contact. But those go out the window when the patient is released. So the groundwork has been laid, my "preemptive strike" appears to have cleared some area so I can get headway onto the mainland. The key now is to keep it chill, while also showing my swag. I'm accomplishing that task by watching badketball, but also wearing one of my sleeveless football shirts. So even though I'm whiter than Caspers ghost, the gun show is in full effect. The NRA has nothing on me. (NRA= National Rifle association, not Nation of Retarded Assholes (Iran)). So the surge will continue, I do unfortunately lose my ally as she is off for the next 3-4 days, but it could be a blessing in disguise. Whoever takes over tonight could be on board with the plan, or I could be assigned to the primary target which would lead to tons of small talk and innocent chit chat. And of course that lets people get to know each other better since beauty is only skin deep and all that other self esteem crap people use when they try to set you up with someone ugly, man or woman. Worst thing you can hear before a set-up "he/she has a GREAT personality" remember kids the harder they stress the personality the more likely your potential dates resembles Quasimodo. (if you don't know who that is, you should have paid attention in fucking class)

I'm out for now, but I have an idea of a photo essay here on the blog tonight. There are things here that must be seen to be believed and I will provide your eyes!