I'm Baaaaaaaack

If you couldn't have guessed from the title of the post, i am back in the warm and loving embrace of Barnes Jewish Hospital. Only this time I've moved down a floor, from the 7900 genral cancer wing, to the 6900 Lymphoma/Leukemia wing.(hey, thats what I have!) Monday we met with my doctor and found out the results from my PET scan last Thursday. (the one I did not get a boner during)* The results weren't good, but they weren't necessarily bad. What it showed was that the week of Chemo they gave me, followed by 3 weeks of observation did not put the lymphoma into remission, which is what needs to happen before they try to perform another transplant. People sometimes get the wrong idea what "remission" means. In this case it doesn't mean cured it just means "stopped growing" or in a perfect world it has shrunk the various tumors some. So since that failed in spectacular fashion, and I use that term because of how long I was in the hospital and all the various bullshits I had to put up with. Not limited to, but including never hearing from the wonderful and beautiful night nurse. (I blame that on me leaving a day early and having to leave a note instead of being able to actually talk to her like the completely bald 6'1" lurch looking mother fucker that I am) Now I get to start a new treatment attempt.

THIS IS LUMBAR PUNCTURE!

Rob Reiner was dead on in his 1984 classic, Spinal Tap is a MUCH cooler turn of phrase than lumbar puncture. Hell, lumbar puncture sounds downright pussified. (If you've never seen "This is Spinal Tap, first finish reading this column, and then second, punch yourself, and third go find a copy and watch it) Anyway, I was admitted late yesterday because they had to wait for a bed to open up. This morning the treatment began. I had to have a "lumbar puncture" where they remove a couple vials of spine juice to make sure I have nothing neurological going on or any type of cancer in my nervous system. They had to do this because of the problems I had develop over the weekend. (We call this burying the lead) I started getting real bad headaches and then sometime during the night Saturday something hit me and on when I woke up Sunday the left side of my face was paralyzed. It still is, so when I smile only the the right side smiles and I can't wink with my left eye (and winking with my left eye is one of my main moves). Talking to the doctor on monday she thinks it is because of a mass of lymph nodes that showed up on the PET Scan originally in my brain area, and this latest PET scan showed it had grown a centimeter. So yes, I look like an idiot when trying to smile and I have trouble swallowing pills, but I'll get through it. Especially if the lumbar puncture comes back negative and the new chemo sets "remission" off the pressure should come off my brains and my face will be back to it's beautiful self.

The treatment they want to try is 6 courses of cytero-something or other, over 5 days. I'll start at 9 tonight then 9 a.m. then I get a day off. Then after the day off do the cycle again, another day off cycle for the final time and then a day or two of obseervation. The only issues with this chemo is that it can effect different parts of my brain as well so after each dose I'll have to do a bunch of "dipshit" tests. Like writing my name and putting my finger out and touching my nose, and other tests to prove I'm not a "dipshit". I can't wait to be declared "not a dipshit" or maybe it'll be cooler if get the dipshit label. Anyhow I think that's enough for now, I'll update the progress on the dipshit test tomorrow.

Fred