Are you jerking off? (questions people actually don't ask)

The following events took place Wednesday the 21st of March 2012.

So, yesterday morning the folks who work here came in later than normal so I was able to sleep in a tad. Saw the doctor around 9:30 and a few minutes later the housekeeper knocked and wanted to clean so I obliged. Having just woken up I was still in bed trying to orient myself and fully wake up while she mopped the floor. The door is wide open and I notice two of the nurses are about to walk in for the morning assessment. Which is routine. However, what happened next was farrrr from routine.

I hear one of them say, "hey, are you jerking off in here?" I spit the water I was drinking out all over the place and start coughing as they stroll in. The first nurse starts making conversation, and I immediately stop her.

"What did you say?" I asked. She gives me a puzzled expression. I tell her "did you just ask if I was jerking off before you came in the room?" the housekeeper, who has been mopping and cleaning the ENTIRE TIME drops her mop and starts laughing her ass off. Quickly followed by both nurses erupting into side splitting laugh

"No Fred, I asked her if she was MOPPING in here". That's when it hits me, all the pills and chemo drugs have caused me to lose my fucking mind. So everyone is laughing their asses off and I'm asking questions. "what kind of degenerate jerks off in a hospital?" "who would do that!?" Quickly finding out from them that in fact, all kinds of degenerates jerk off in hospital rooms.

Which makes me 100% certain that I never want to see this room in a black light. Of course when the shift change occurs they tell the night nurse assigned to me (my partner in crime you read about in an earlier update) and since she and I get along so well, the rest of the night was a breeze. I was eating dinner and she comes in with pills and first thing she says? "you eating or jerking off?" it was a question she asked every time she showed up.

The moral of this story is if you THINK someone asked you if you were banishing white Russians from your Kremlin, they actually weren't and you should pretend you didn't hear a fucking thing.

For the record if you jerk off in the hospital you are in fact a degenerate and they ought to be allowed to sterilize you immediately.



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