Keeping the Humor up through side effects

Since I finished the 5 straight days of chemo last week they have had to keep me locked up here to monitor my blood counts. For a short refresher, the white blood cells affect your immune system so sending me home is not an option because of the risk of infection.

Regardless of that, with the treatment I am on the receiving end of the doctors said I am going to get an infection or two no matter what. So over the weekend the side effects finally hit. The first was the inside of my mouth feels like it's been rubbed completely raw and my lips have more cracks than all of Harlem. (bazinga) I have no problem with eating soft foods until this clears up but the biggest inconvenience is that it hurts when I talk too much. As many of you know, I LOVE the sound of my own voice. In fact the only thing I like more than the sound of my voice, is other people hearing the sound of my voice. My melodious tone is music to peoples ears and they are unfortunately being deprived of this delight at the moment.

When I mentioned that to my dear sweet mother today her response was "They are all probably thanking God that you have trouble talking, since you can never shut up".

Seemed a little harsh I thought, so I took a poll. I asked around and word was spread and the following were the results:

Pro-Fred Talking: 70%
Anti-Fred Talking: 10%
Who the hell is Fred: 20%

Clearly I need to get over this infection so I can entertain the 70% and at the same time raise my profile so that I have 100% name recognition. I did have an idea of walking down to the family lounge in just my boxers (sans pants) so that the ladies could get a cheap thrill and the ones who didn't know me would ask, "who is that"? Then they would all know my name is the Fred.



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