The Results of the dipshit test are in!

Well after one "day" of the new chemo regiment. 9-12 last night and 9-12 this morning, I have a day off until tomoroow night (Thursday). So far I have passed both dipshit tests with flying colors. Both are the same type of test, they give you a piece of paper and you have to write "I am a patient at Barnes Hospital" and then do it again before the next chemo to make sure your handwriting is staying close to the same. Those of you who have seen my handwriting know that this test is about as useful as a cock flavored lollipop. I write in hieroglyphics for gods sake. But whatever, I rock the business. The other part of the dipshit test is closing your eyes and holding your arms at your side and then touching your nose one finger at a time with your eyes closed. The best part of this test is how every single person here describes it, "it's kind of like the DUI test the cops give". To which I get to reply every time, "I've never had to take a DUI test you ingrates, I don't know what's involved!" Needless to say I crushed that part of the test, really taught it a lesson.

Even though I can only move half my face, I'm still doing pretty good with dropping the jokes down here. I think I'm nearing "preferred patient" status. I already had it on the 5th floor, and gained it on the 7th last month, and now if I add the 6th floor that locks up my trifecta of cancer floors. I wonder if they'll give me coupons. I don't know what the coupons would be for.... but I think it would be a classy gesture on their part. A classy gesture for a classy guy, that's only fair. I mean come on, we do live in America right?

That's it for today, as a wise man once said "if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it".